A Sunshiny Day! ;D

soo, this morning was the midnight premiere of " The Transformers " i was goin to go but they weren't sure if they would have enough tickets. So my brother volunteered to take me on thursday. :) he's sooo great! And it's my first time going to a movie with just him. About a week ago rachael told me that Daniel (my brother) said that when rachael was really small they were the best of friends and always together. It made me wonder if I will always be the second favorite. I don't know what to think sometimes. I am just the youngest child. people think of me as spoiled. I can't change that. When i have a bad day and don't feel like talking to anyone they feel like they need to go out and buy me something. Than afterwards they tell me that I shouldn't make people feel bad when im sad. Cause last night Rachael told me that I made Jared feel bad that they didn't take me with them to go see " the proposal " but we were already planning to go see it together so i got mad that they went without me and didn't even tell me i had to find out for myself. Anyways, rachael said that it's my fault that Jared is offering to take to " the transformers " and she's like "have you noticed that everytime you do this Jared pays for it. " and before in my head i was thinking that I am definitely going to pay for my own ticket. Than Rachael gets mad at me for starting to cry but what im i suppose to do?? Im soo confused.

Just One Push of A Button... :)

OKay! so I wrote him... and I apologized. I didn't expect him to write me back but surprise!!!!!!!!! he did! i told im that i lied.. which i did. and he wrote "what did you lie about. and i forgive you. " ahhhhhhh! my heart stopped. :) this the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me, is that sad?... quoting "He's just not that into you. " :D hahaha wow. today has kicked off and i feel ready to fly. i checked my horoscope. lol and it said that today my confidence will get better. wow!!! it was pretty much right... weird? I never really trusted horoscopes and what they say but it seems that everything that happens in my life that day. is all on one list. like the horoscope it actually tells me how my day will go.. like a perfect description. or maybe that's just how my mind works. I think it's going to happen once i hear it. and than i just make it happen myself. pretty crazy stuff. but the weird thing is that I checked it after my confidence busted up. hmm. what ever it is. im A-okay with it. :D cause my day is going fantastically!! yay life!!!!!! :D

Lost and... found?

I put myself in a BIG pickle!!! im having trouble talking to this guy. Soooo i asked my friend for his number.... goes down VVV(arrows) hill from there!!!!!!! what's wrong with me? i can't get over this ONE guy! he's on my mind all day, everyday. i just wish i never talked to him. He even got his Really cute guy friends to stop talking to me. Only one of his friends does anyways. it's pathetic. But now im guessing he told him about what happened between us, because now the guy who talked to me acts a little awkward. I need to forget about him! but how can i when he goes spreading rumors... well not real rumors it's true. but STILL!! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
someone... anyone please help me. I need a therapist. really bad. Im so lost